I Know I Am Intelligent Because I Know That I Know Nothing .... Socrates

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Fatherhood


I've been watching my boy grow up in leaps and bounds latley and I have to be honest, at times I wish the whole process could slow down a bit. Dylan ( Alias " Grub " ) turnes 13 this year and at a time when a lot of parents start to cringe at the thought of those teenage years I honestly find myself excited at watching this young man continue to grow in confidence and take on the world.

I do not fear him getting caught up with the wrong crowd or rebelling against the world. I don't fear him being disrespectful to myself or any other person he deals with. I don't fear him feeling like he has to " Find Himself " and experiment with drugs or alcohol.

Now I can hear you all laughing and saying that you thought that too or good luck with that or warning me not to talk too soon, but I know my boy is ready to take on the world be it good, bad or indifferent and you know why. Because he has been shown respect and shown how to respect.

From the moment I could communicate with Grub I have explained that all you need in life is R.E.S.P.E.C.T respect for yourself, respect for all living creatures on this earth and respect for all property.

I also have constantly discussed with him that every action in your life is a " Personal Choice " and every action has a appropriate reaction. Therefore if you choose the reaction that you desire it's very easy to then choose the desired action required.

But most of all ( while not always successful ) I have tried to live a life of example.

At the end of the day irrespective of what else I achieve or not in life, I can feel rightly proud of my influence in Grub's life. I choose the reaction I desired and went about putting in place the appropriate action to get that reaction.

Now I have to be honest, I had a great teacher and all I had to do was to replicate his actions. I never had to think about what I had to do because he had so patiently shown me over many many years all the secret tricks to the trade. And the funny thing is he didn't even know he was showing me most of the time. Of course I am talking about my father " Norman Swansson ", a man who never complained, never walked away from the job, who never gave up.

And most of all he believed. When you have someone who believes it's very easy to dream goals that you would have otherwise believed to lofty or challenging.

I am very much reminded of an amazing poem I read on another Blog site ( Lessons from the monk I married ) just the other day which I'd like to share.


Listen to the Mustn'ts

Listen to the Mustn'ts, child,
Listen to the Don'ts
Listen to the Shouldn'ts
The Impossibiles, the Won'ts
Listen to the Never Haves
Then Listen To Me
.
Anything can happen, child,
Anything can be.
.

Shel Silverstein


Just as, if we don't believe in ourselves we will always struggle for success. If we don't believe in our children how will they ever learn to succeed and dream.


Anything can happen, child.

Anything can be !

2 comments:

  1. Andrew...good on you for not believing the naysayers in regard to what our children will be like. We've had that continually thrown at us, and no doubt it will continually happen. What we do speaks louder than what we say. Example is the only way to teach our children, and unless with first give and show respect, our children cannot understand how to give it in return.

    I don't know Dylan so well, but in meeting him when we all met for coffee, I have no doubt he will be grow into a wonderful young man. He's already doing you proud and he has you and Rach to thank for that. I think (and I'm just guessing here) that with what he has had to endure, he's had to grow up a tad faster, and from what I can glean, he's handled things with great maturity.

    You should feel proud that you have done such a wonderful job as a parent, and I'm sure Dylan is also proud to have you as his father.

    Thanks for your post. Love that verse. Think I might store that one away for future reference. Love ya work! ;) :)

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  2. This is really lovely - I am going to email you actually..

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