Sticks & Stones

“ Sticks and Stones may break my bones,

but Names will never hurt me ”

Remember singing that as a child ?

Do you also remember being told

“ If you just ignore a bully they

will simply go away ”

Unfortunately neither were true words of wisdom, in fact in the real world exactly the opposite would actually happen. Sticks and Stones in most cases may cause cuts and bruises that you can see heal with care and time while with words the wounds can not always be readily seen but can cut so deep that they never truly heal and if they do scar up then normally they permanently effect they way the persons spirit develops.

I was a victim of continual bullying while growing up, not so much the physical type but the verbal and behavioral types. I was always a overweight child and have always been a very emotional type of person. I am one of those people who just can’t hide their emotions and I wear them on my sleeve for all to see. This unfortunately while seen as a fairly admirable characteristic for a S.N.A.G “ Sensitive New Age Guy ” in adulthood it was just a big red target for other kids while growing up.

What better past time for a board kid then to take a poke at me when they were guaranteed a response every time, I never let them down !

I never felt like I belonged anywhere or as a part of any group, I was always the one on the outside looking in and wondering what it would be like to be one of them !

I was always the biggest kid in both height and weight and with time as I grew up I managed to build a exterior image of the Big Silent Guy which ( thankfully due to a couple of fights I managed to win ) no one quite knew how to take so by the time I hit mid high school I was left alone, completely. I may now have been completely alone but at least I wasn’t the butt of everyone else’s boredom and taunts.

Have you ever stopped to contemplate just how powerful your words are?

Those early years have profoundly effected how I deal with life to this day, even though I understand the pettiness of what was said all those years ago. My attempts to change my reaction to them as an adult is futile as my flight or fight responses are so ingrained that they are fundamentally a part of who I am for the rest of my days.

These days I talk very long and very hard with my son about what people say to him and how he deals with others words. I constantly tell him that words can only hurt if you give them the power too but you know what, that’s not true, once the words have been thrown at you they stick to you and corrode away at your spirit. As I write this I realize that they are just more of those fable words that we are taught as kids because adults don’t have the right answers for us.

My son “ Grub ” is very much like me in build and personality. He sees the world though very innocent eyes at times which is a characteristic I have openly encouraged as he grew up, after all we are adults long enough, all children should be able to enjoy the innocence of childhood as long as they can.

Because Grub is so sensitive, the littlest word can hurt him and parenting a sensitive child can be a tight balance at times preparing him for his teenage years and the real world verses trying to keep some of that gentle innocence within him so that he may grow into a strong compassionate young man.

I caught myself using the wrong words in frustration this morning when talking to Grub. In a frustrated moment while discussing Grub’s wish to drop one of his extra curricular activities I told him he was lazy for not wanting to put in the effort.

Now “ Lazy ” is such a small word, it is such a common word, it’s not considers a nasty word or a rude word and yet its effect on Grub was profound. He got extremely sad and upset, quite some time later he sent me a simple text with the simple message “ I’m not lazy, I’m just not interested in it anymore ”. The word had stuck to him and was eroding his spirit.

Now I know better, I know how words can hurt and I will apologies profusely this afternoon when I see him next but the damage is done and words can not be unsaid. I love my boy beyond words and I am forever protective of him from the outside world which makes my laps in judgment all the worse.

Each year you read about the new words they add to the dictionary, wouldn’t it be a giant leap for mankind if we could also remove words from the dictionary. Just think of it, our children would never have to hear words like Hate, Fat, Ugly, Dumb, Stupid, Unattractive & Lazy just to name a few.

Wouldn’t that be an amazing world !

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sharp Words

Please don’t whip me with you’re sharp words,
They cut so deep and burn.

They etch scars upon my heart,
And cause my innocence to turn.

Please don’t tell me your cruel untruths,
My soul screams for you to stop.

Please don’t push me down again,
Just to make you feel on top.

All smothered in hate and lies,
I can not breath.

I am like you,
I breath, I bleed.

I am not what you say I am,
But I’m starting to believe.

Please don’t whip me with your sharp words,
They cut so deep and burn.

They etch a scar upon my heart,
And my innocence can never return.

Andrew Swansson
© April 2010

Reflections

The Mirror Man


Who are you ?
Are you the one !
The one to change it all !
Are you the one that will dare to believe ?
That will dare to change !

Are you strong enough to stay the course,
When all will be at your back !
Can you see the dream ?
Can you hear his words ?
Can you taste the victory ?
Or do you smell the fear ?

Will you stare him down,
And stand your ground !
Will you put him in his place ?
Will you lead by example and do what’s right.
When all will tell you to do wrong !

Do you believe ?
In love at first sight.
Do you believe in fight or flight ?
Do you believe in cold winter days and hot summer night ?

Are you stronger then him,
The one that doesn’t believe !
The one that is scared !

Do you know who I am ?


Andrew Swansson
© 01/07/08

Black Dog

Black Dog

I really do believe you can,
Yes, I really am quite sure.
All you have to do is, believe,
Just as I’ve believe in you before.
I’ve seen you do amazing things,
And I’ve seen you beat the best.
Now it’s time to dig down deep,
And do your bloody best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The fight ahead will be long and hard,
The battlefield will be in your head.
Your weapons are your heart and soul,
Your army is us, your friends.
To the victor will go all hope,
The conquered will cease to exist.
The time has come to face your foe,
And send it back, into its abyss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really do believe you can,
Yes, I really am quite sure.
All you have to do is, believe,
Just as we’ve done before.
The place is here and the time is now,
As tomorrow never comes.
I really do believe you can,
Yes, I really am quite sure.


Andrew Swansson
© 2010

The Ring

The Ring

I took off my ring today and put it safely away
It’s in a place that’s warm and secure
Where it can remain for the rest of its days

It once stood for love and devotion
Between two connected souls
But now it’s tarnished with the pain of age
That just won’t go away

It got tarnished from all the words expressed wrong
It was dented by words unsaid
It was twisted by actions not devoted and true
It was betrayed by the distractions of life

I remember the day you held my hand
And placed the ring on my finger
With a pledge to love till the end of our days
A pledge that I knew we would never surrender

But our love did not stand the test of time
And our souls now pass in the night
Our united world has been ripped apart
And we must now give up the fight

I took off my ring today and put it safely away
But its memory remains in my heart warm and secure
Where it can remain for the rest of its days

Andrew Swansson

© 2010

Connecting

I just returned home today after spending the last 3 days at one of the most magical places I have ever visited in my life. I have just spent 3 days in a earthy timber cabin deep within a National Park Rainforest where my front door and verandah overlooked a brisk flowing natural rainforest spring. ( The Mouse House Link )

I was visited each afternoon by the Possums and kept company all day by two scrub bush turkeys.

I woke when I pleased, went to bed when I pleased, ate when nature reminded me to and generally sat back and STOPPED !

I listened to the water flowing softly down the mossy mountain stream, I listened to the trees with their leaves rustling gently around me.

I soaked in the living scents of the forest and opened my heart to its energy and peace.

I allowed myself to listen to my own thoughts, to acknowledge my own feelings and without punishment of judgment I acknowledged my actions and part in my life to date.

I layed in utter darkness and was engulfed by the roar of silence.

And I listened as the Rainforest woke to the day.

I tingled as the cool moist rainforest morning air caressed my skin.
I sat back and read words of wisdom shared with me from a friend.

And wrote poetry because I can.

I connected with myself and I made a new friend.

Connecting

Searching for my higher self

And feeling the love from thee.

Connecting with the source of life

And listening to her life energy run free.

~

I ask nothing of thee

But to feel your grace.

To lift my heart

And to free my mind.

~

Free me from society

And the pressures it asks of me.

Time to Breath

Time to Feel

Time to talk to ME.

~

Andrew Swansson

Copyright March 2010

Dohi to you all and thank you for reading my Blog

Potholes

Watch Out For Those Potholes !

Have you ever noticed how you get days when everyone is bouncing off the walls or everyone drags themselves around like a flat tyre ? While that in itself would be a interesting topic to Blog about and an interesting topic to hear everyone's opinion as to why and how this occures, it is not the topic of this particular Blog.

What I'd like to chat about today is more about those individual potholes that seem to pop up out of nowhere and send us crashing off course when we hit them.

How do you handle yourself when you hit one of life's potholes ?

Are you the type of person who slows life right down and ensures their focus is not in the distance on the destination but directly infront of you to ensure that you see all the potholes before crashing into them, and then when you do see the potholes you slow down even more to carefully navigate your way through the potholes all the time ensuring that everything gets through unscratched and dust free ?

Or are you the type of person that come hell or high water you keep your eyes on the destination and the foot flat to the floor crashing over and through any potholes in your way. Your not worried if you collect a few scratches along the way or for that matter you don't worry if you get bounced off course because your eyes have never left the destination and you can make whatever adjustment is needed and just start down a new road to your original destination. To you it dosn't matter how you get there as long as you get there.

Me, well I tend to be a mixture of both at times. I primarily tend to be foot flat to the floor and I just adjust the Life GPS as needed and get back on track to my destination. To me the journey is the adventure, the destination is a motivator that stops me going around in circles. I cherish the scratches, the dents and the detours as I believe they all add flavour to what outherwise could be a very bland and tasteless life.

Now having said all of that, sometimes you hit a pothole that is so deep and so wide that it rattles your nerves, damages the undercarriage and maybe even blows a tyre or two. We've all his potholes like those before and while we all try and swerve and miss them, unfortunately some are just so large you can't avoid hitting them head on and on the other occasions they come out of the left field and unsighted you slam head first into them.

It's when you hit these big potholes that you get to see what your vehicle is really made of. Is your chassis made of steel or aluminium ?

Now we all know that that things were built stronger and more reliable in the " Good Old Days ", things were made to last and they could take a solid knock and keep going. The newer stuff is more Hi-Tec and a fair bit more sensitive but at the same time it's loaded with more safety features that stop injuries when you hit those big potholes.

Now I can hear you all asking the question or arguing the case as to which one is better. Mordern, comfitable and loaded with safety features or good old solid dependability ?

I personally think that while the newer Hi-Tec keeps you safer with it's crumple zones, air bags and such, when you actually hit a pothole, there is damage everytime and the repair and maintenance never ending. Therefore I would definitely choose the good old days, lets face it you may get shaken around a bit more and collect a few more cuts and bruises along the way but nine out of ten times when you hit a pothole you can still drive out the other side even if it was a big pothole that made you slow down a bit. I guess things were just simpler in the good old days.

Whats that old say'n about " If it dosn't kill ya it will just make you stronger " I also think that it's the cuts, bruises and grime collected along the way that makes us who we are, it's the flavour in our soul and the story in our eyes.

As I mentioned above, I believe the journey is what it's all about. It's not about the beginning or who you are at birth, it's not about the end or what you have achieved or accumulated at the end. It's about the journey in between the two, how you carried yourself on your journey and the degree to which you have touched this world you live in. It's how you handled the potholes.

Years ago at the funeral of a friend a poem was read. I have never forgotten this poem and I am amazed at how well it captures the essence of an existence in such a simple straight forward way.

So here is to our Dash, lets make it all count !

The Dash

.

I watched a man who stood to speak.

At the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates to be placed on their tombstone

From the beginning to the end

He noted that the first came the day of their birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said that mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years.

.

For that dash represented all the time

That they spent alive on earth

And now only those who loved them

Know what that little dash is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own

The cars, the house the cash

What matters is how we lived and loved

And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard

Are there things you'd like to change ?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what's true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we never loved before.

.

If we treat each other with respect,

And more often wear a smile

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a while.

.

So when your eulogy's being read

With your life's actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spend your dash ?

.

Unknown Author.

Fatherhood

I've been watching my boy grow up in leaps and bounds latley and I have to be honest, at times I wish the whole process could slow down a bit. Dylan ( Alias " Grub " ) turnes 13 this year and at a time when a lot of parents start to cringe at the thought of those teenage years I honestly find myself excited at watching this young man continue to grow in confidence and take on the world.

I do not fear him getting caught up with the wrong crowd or rebelling against the world. I don't fear him being disrespectful to myself or any other person he deals with. I don't fear him feeling like he has to " Find Himself " and experiment with drugs or alcohol.

Now I can hear you all laughing and saying that you thought that too or good luck with that or warning me not to talk too soon, but I know my boy is ready to take on the world be it good, bad or indifferent and you know why. Because he has been shown respect and shown how to respect.

From the moment I could communicate with Grub I have explained that all you need in life is R.E.S.P.E.C.T respect for yourself, respect for all living creatures on this earth and respect for all property.

I also have constantly discussed with him that every action in your life is a " Personal Choice " and every action has a appropriate reaction. Therefore if you choose the reaction that you desire it's very easy to then choose the desired action required.

But most of all ( while not always successful ) I have tried to live a life of example.

At the end of the day irrespective of what else I achieve or not in life, I can feel rightly proud of my influence in Grub's life. I choose the reaction I desired and went about putting in place the appropriate action to get that reaction.

Now I have to be honest, I had a great teacher and all I had to do was to replicate his actions. I never had to think about what I had to do because he had so patiently shown me over many many years all the secret tricks to the trade. And the funny thing is he didn't even know he was showing me most of the time. Of course I am talking about my father " Norman Swansson ", a man who never complained, never walked away from the job, who never gave up.

And most of all he believed. When you have someone who believes it's very easy to dream goals that you would have otherwise believed to lofty or challenging.

I am very much reminded of an amazing poem I read on another Blog site ( Lessons from the monk I married ) just the other day which I'd like to share.

Listen to the Mustn'ts

Listen to the Mustn'ts, child,

Listen to the Don'ts

Listen to the Shouldn'ts

The Impossibiles, the Won'ts

Listen to the Never Haves

Then Listen To Me

.

Anything can happen, child,

Anything can be.

.

Shel Silverstein

Just as, if we don't believe in ourselves we will always struggle for success. If we don't believe in our children how will they ever learn to succeed and dream.

Anything can happen, child.

Anything can be !

Love

What does it mean " To be loved " or " To love "

After all there are many different types of love, " Loving the taste of you all time favorite food ","The love that a mother has for her new born child "," The love of the trill "," That first true love ", " The love of a couple that have been married for 50 years through the good times and the bad times "," The love of the smell of the fresh rain on a summer day ", or " The love of hearing the songs of the birds overhead as the sun rises ", just to name a few.

Is love a feeling ? an emotion ? or is love a thought that we convince ourselves to believe in ?

Can you learn to love something or is true love a gift from above that you have no control over, after all they say that " Love is blind " & Love can be found at first sight.

Can love fade over time ? Or is it more the case that it was never true love that you had and only true love endures.

Can a person truely die from a broken heart ?

And can two people in love combine the essence of who they are to be greater than the some of each individually ?

No matter what love is to the individual, one thing is sure, love would appear to be elusive to the vast majority of the human race or at least the understanding and acceptance of true love would appear to be elusive.

Love Is Elusive

Love is elusive

Love is a dream

Love is always there but rarely seen

Our eyes are closed to the simplest of things

Of what love is and what it means.

.

Love is seeing the sun set red

The morning songs of the birds overhead

A gentle cool breeze on a hot humid day

Of watching the waves roll in all day.

.

Love is touching your new born child

With tears of pride and joy in your eyes.

Love is teaching them to grow strong and free,

And having the courage to teach them to dream.

.

Love is having you lay next to me,

The smell of your hair the touch of your skin.

The sparkle in your eyes so deep,

And holding you tightly as we sleep.

.

When I look deep into your eyes,

It's then that I realise much to my suprise.

That love to me can never be complete,

Without you in my life.

.

Love is elusive,

Love is a dream.

Love is always there but rarely seen.

Our eyes are closed to the simplest of things,

Of what love is and what it means.

.

Andrew Swansson

Copyright 2007

The Truth @ 4am

Morning All or at least to any of the silly people who are up at 4am in the morning on Saturday like me !

I guess this is more a reflection than a statement .... Why are the best moments of clarity and reflection at 4am in the morning ?

Oh well, while I am up and talking to you all I may as well share a poem that I wrote not too long ago. Once again I'd love to hear what everyone thinks about it.

Cheers & Remember ... " There Are No Orginary Moments "

Make It Go Away

.

I turned on the TV to watch the evening news

It was all about the evil things that we say and do

Wars in foreign lands, assults next door

And all about political greed

I just couldn't take it anymore.

.

I couldn't take it

Oh No

It had to go away,

So I turned off my TV and went about my day.

.

I turned on my radio to hear some happy tunes.

To lift my spirit and free the mind

It seemed a smart thing to do.

But all the tunes were about disrespect

They were about racism, sex and doom

They brought me down with a hard brutal thud

And I just couldn't take it anymore.

.

I couldn't take it

Oh No

It had to go away,

So I turned of the radio and went about my day

.

I decided to take a walk

Under the bright southern stars

To feel a breeze against my cheeks

And to breath in deep the freshness of the night air.

I decided to forget the horrors of the TV news,

I decided to forget the disrespecting radio tunes

I decided I couldn't take it anymore.

.

I couldn't take it

Oh No

It had to go away

So I turned off and went about my day.

.

But the wars were still fought in the foreign lands

And the assults still happened next door

The radio still spread the word of disrespect and doom

I had had enough

I had made it go away.

I had turned my back on humanity

And gone about my day.

.

Rwanda, Bosnia, Timor, Zimbabwe

It didn't go away.

.

Andrew Swansson

Copyright 2008

The Beginning

Well, I have to admit I'm not really sure what to write in this Blog now that I have started it !

I am tempted to take a walk on the more philosophical side of life and to talk to anyone who is interested about my spiritual beliefs and ethical beliefs.

I have always cherished a good philosophical debate that questions the very foundations in which modern society builds itself on.

I find myself drawn to quoting the words to a song from the movie " Into The Wild " which is the true life story of a young man by the name of Christopher McCandless who dared to question everything in his life including his own very existence.

Society

Oh it's a mystery to me.

We have a greed, with which we have agreed ...

and you think you have to want more than you need ...

until you have it all, you won't be free.

.

Society, you're a crazy breed.

I hope you're not lonely, without me.

.

When you want more than you have, you think you need ...

and when you think more then you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.

I think I need to find a bigger place ...

cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.

.

Society, you're a crazy breed.

I hope you're not lonely, without me.

Society, crazy indeed ...

I hope you're not lonely without me.

.

There are those thinkin more is less, less is more,

but if less is more, how you keepin score ?

It means for every point you make, your level drops.

Kinda like you're startin from the top ...

and you can't do that.

.

Society, you're a crazy breed.

I hope you're not lonely, without me.

Society, crazy indeed ...

I hope you're not lonely, without me

Society, have mercy on me.

I hope you're not angry, if I disagree.

Society, crazy indeed.

I hope you're not lonely ....

Without Me.

.

Jerry Hannan

.

I'd love to know YOUR thoughts ...