Lessons In Life

Well it's 11pm on a Thursday night and I can't sleep. Too busy thinking about past life's lessons and how slow I have been to acknowledge them at times.

I am currently reading a book I was given for my 42nd birthday by a friend Kerry who has inspired me more than she probably would know for about 20 years now. The book is called " Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart " by Gordon Livingston.

The chapter I read tonight, just before I tried to unsuccessfully go to sleep was called ~ We Are What We Do.

The crux of the chapter is that so many people these days are so unhappy with their lives, they have trouble sleeping or sleep too much, they have trouble eating and eat too much or too little, they are irritable and having trouble with their memory, have trouble maintaining healthy relationships, many unfortunately wish they were dead .... All have forgotten what it is like to be happy !

The chapter goes on to quite bluntly state that while we have the marvel of modern medicine and certainly medicine can assist with the above depression symptoms, the medicine CAN NOT fix the problem.

" Happiness is not simply the absence of despair. It's an affirmative state in which our lives have both meaning and pleasure."

It goes on to mention that most of us go about our day dreaming about what we want and what we need but these dreams do little to change our state of mood.

" We are not what we think, or what we say, or how we feel. We are what we do ! "

Most of the depression and heartbreak that our lives contains is a result of ignoring the reality that past behaviour is the most reliable predictor of future behaviour. And the reality is that most of us get not what we want out of life but what we EXPECT out of life. We expect a negative result so subconsciously we go about putting set behaviours into place to ensure the results we are expecting. Most of modern society detests change more than they detest the negative results they keep getting.

As humans there are three basic components that will satisfy most people, Having something to do that is worthwhile and personally rewarding, having someone to love and having something to look forward to.

So here I am, now midnight contemplating my three basic needs and the ways that I have ignored past actions and results and therefore continued to get the same result time after time.

Now for the part that hurts ~~ The Truth !

I just turned 42, I am morbidly obese and had a heart attack just prior to my 40th birthday, I am currently a single dad due to my 13 year marriage ( 16 year relationship ) recently ending and I am finding it near impossible to get motivated in my current job although it is a good challenging job.

Now I can sit here all day and acknowledge my flaws, I can sit here all day and TALK about what changes I want in my life, but at the end of the day talk is cheap and as stated earlier, we are the sum of our actions and not what we say, think or feel.

Time to change people ... " I do not fear change ~ I fear staying the same "

Now I am strangely compelled at the moment to make myself three promises to start my journey to a better, happier life. One for each of my 3 basic needs. I don't know exactly where to from here but I do believe it's " Now or never ".

Having something that is worthwhile and personally rewarding

To me this is the hardest one, I have been a father & husband that long that I have largely forgotten who I am and what I find rewarding.

While sitting here I think back to my poetry and painting, both of which I haven't done in years as well as my Massaging and Reiki practices both of which have also ceased in recent years.

I am also reminded that unless I live a healthier life I will not have to be concerned with the future, so at least one health goal is a must.

All four tasks listed above have always brought me great personal pleasure and self satisfaction so my first step on this journey is to start my poetry and painting once again and to restart my Holistic Therapies Practice, get back into my Massage & Reiki.

With the health goal, I simply commit to ceasing the consumption of soft drinks and to restrict myself to good old fashion H2O as a starting point.

Having Someone To Love

Now anyone who knows me, knows that I love my son to bits, but I take this more as an adult relationship as well as my love and tollerance for mankind as a whole.

I commit working towards an open and committed relationship, founded on trust ~ respect and commitment while at the same time I commit to developing a more open non-judgemental, loving and accepting attitude to those around me.

Having Something To Look Forward To

I simply wish to travel once again, preferably overseas but at the very least to within Australia to Tasmania or WA both of which I have never seen.

As stated above goals without actions are but dreams and wishes and they do nothing to better out lives if not acted upon.

So here is to a new day literally

Dohi and thanks for reading my Blog.