A large part of the reason I started this Blog was to start a journey of types for my son. To put down my thoughts and beliefs, dreams and goals as a sort of time capsule for him to look back at in years to come. Hopefully to help him understand at least half of who he is.
I personally believe that to know who you are, you need to know where you came from !
Now when I talk about where you came from I'm not talking about where you were born or where you grew up. I am talking about that very second that you came into existence, I mean the shared DNA from which your miracle started.
It's about knowing who your parents are, as real flesh and blood, warts and all people and not the foggy memory or perception you have of them.
When was the last time you sat down and honestly talked to your parents like you talk to your friends ? Have you ever asked your parents about their lives ? Where did they come from ? What are their thoughts ? What were and are their dreams ? Disappointments ? Proudest Moments ? Saddest Moments ? The list could go on till the day they die " If You Are Smart ".
My eldest sister Wendy often writes about our Mum & Dad in her Blog and I also have made reference at times to my father Norman in this Blog but to be honest, I don't spend enough time with them these days. I stoped asking questions years ago and got distracted in my own world.
The funny thing is that I have spent years trying to understand who I am and why I think and feel the way I do when all I had to do was watch my parents and ask them. I am so much like my father in many ways, especially on the emotional side of things and I see more of myself and my father in my son as each year goes by.
And as each year goes by I see more and more wisdom in the words my parents have offered as advise over the years, shame it so many years to understand their wisdom, life could have been so much simpler.
So much of who we are we owe to the dynamic influence of our parents. Without even knowing we are taking in lessons from them everyday of our young lives, until we grow up and move out of the nest and spread our wings, at which time while our parents are still a strong influence we find ourselves under the influence of other dynamics other than our families.
How many of us have sat back at some stage and quietly told ourselves that we sound like our Mother or Father with actions or sayings that we have just done. How many of us have swore that " I hated how my parents did that, I will NEVER do that to my kids " only to catch yourself repeating the exact same action.
How many of us have found ourselves reflecting on good advice that we now wished we HAD listened to ?
As I said at the beginning, I believe to understand ourselves we need to first acknowledge that we are the sum of our two parents and all that they are, get to know your parents, as friends and as real people with flaws, dreams, fears and ambitions.
By understanding them and then reflecting honestly at yourself, I believe that many questions that once defied your logic will suddenly appear a lot clearer to understand. In fact many I believe will no longer be an issue with you because you will understand their reason.
One of our greatest weaknesses as humans is to instinctively fear that which we do not understand ..... This includes ourselves !
Get to know your parents, Get to know yourself, Shut down the F.E.A.R " Fantasised Events Appearing Real " and then start chasing your dreams.
I personally believe that to know who you are, you need to know where you came from !
Now when I talk about where you came from I'm not talking about where you were born or where you grew up. I am talking about that very second that you came into existence, I mean the shared DNA from which your miracle started.
It's about knowing who your parents are, as real flesh and blood, warts and all people and not the foggy memory or perception you have of them.
When was the last time you sat down and honestly talked to your parents like you talk to your friends ? Have you ever asked your parents about their lives ? Where did they come from ? What are their thoughts ? What were and are their dreams ? Disappointments ? Proudest Moments ? Saddest Moments ? The list could go on till the day they die " If You Are Smart ".
My eldest sister Wendy often writes about our Mum & Dad in her Blog and I also have made reference at times to my father Norman in this Blog but to be honest, I don't spend enough time with them these days. I stoped asking questions years ago and got distracted in my own world.
The funny thing is that I have spent years trying to understand who I am and why I think and feel the way I do when all I had to do was watch my parents and ask them. I am so much like my father in many ways, especially on the emotional side of things and I see more of myself and my father in my son as each year goes by.
And as each year goes by I see more and more wisdom in the words my parents have offered as advise over the years, shame it so many years to understand their wisdom, life could have been so much simpler.
So much of who we are we owe to the dynamic influence of our parents. Without even knowing we are taking in lessons from them everyday of our young lives, until we grow up and move out of the nest and spread our wings, at which time while our parents are still a strong influence we find ourselves under the influence of other dynamics other than our families.
How many of us have sat back at some stage and quietly told ourselves that we sound like our Mother or Father with actions or sayings that we have just done. How many of us have swore that " I hated how my parents did that, I will NEVER do that to my kids " only to catch yourself repeating the exact same action.
How many of us have found ourselves reflecting on good advice that we now wished we HAD listened to ?
As I said at the beginning, I believe to understand ourselves we need to first acknowledge that we are the sum of our two parents and all that they are, get to know your parents, as friends and as real people with flaws, dreams, fears and ambitions.
By understanding them and then reflecting honestly at yourself, I believe that many questions that once defied your logic will suddenly appear a lot clearer to understand. In fact many I believe will no longer be an issue with you because you will understand their reason.
One of our greatest weaknesses as humans is to instinctively fear that which we do not understand ..... This includes ourselves !
Get to know your parents, Get to know yourself, Shut down the F.E.A.R " Fantasised Events Appearing Real " and then start chasing your dreams.
WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'
Unknown Author
Thank you for reading my Blog
Oh Andrew...you really know how to pull at the heart strings. Here I am sniffling once again. Though I have a question...what if you don't know your (real) parents? For some, the journey of self-discovery involves being lost for a while. Yes, your environment growing up, influences who you become as an adult, but there's always a part of you who knew that something wasn't all that it appeared to be.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem...thanks once again. :)
Hey Kerry ... Good question, one that may need a good weekend afternoon tea or BBQ to discuss.
ReplyDeleteBut I understand your question, environment influences but biological processes .. if different biological would the reactions be the same to the environmental hard wiring ?
My first responce is to say that while we may all look different we are all the same biological so no it souldn't have a huge difference unless raised differently or influenced by the biological parents first ...
I will have to go away and think about that one !
I have tears in my eyes but a huge smile on my face. Read this post often Andrew. Don't forget what you just wrote. I feel excited right now and feel like I am going to burst out of my skin. I am excited for you and journey you are on. Love, Wendy
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