F.E.A.R

F.E.A.R = Fantasized Events Appearing Real

Ever dreamed of a better world ? One thats a bit kinder to you and is full of opportunities and rewards ! Ever looked at those “ Go Getters ” out there who just seem to decide they want something or to do something and then like magic it just seems to happen for them, don’t people like that just annoy the daylights out of you ! If only life was that simple for the rest of us !

I had a brother in-law who is like one of those “ Charmed Ones ”, it doesn’t matter what he wanted in life it seems to just fall into his lap. His very early 30s Career Military since he left school at 18, has 5 houses, has traveled the world both with the Military and on his own endeavors, has great cars, bikes, is a full contact cage fighter etc … I could go on forever…

Now I have to be honest, when I first started to go out with my ex-wife I didn’t get along with the brother in-law to well, I considered him a bit of a spoilt brat that just got what ever he wanted and was fairly arrogant. But over the years of watching him I slowly noticed a few key personality traits that he kept pretty low key. In fact as time would teach me he wasn’t arrogant but actually the complete opposite, he was and still is a very modest man. The more I got to know him the more I realized he never talked about what he had or what he had done, he certainly never bragged about what he was going to get or what he was “ Gunna Do ”. He just did it or the new object would just appear.

So if he wasn't " Lucky " or spoilt, why then did life seem to reward him more than me ? This question really started to strike home with me and as I watched him closer and closer I finally realized why he had his achievements and possessions and the rest of us didn’t.

He didn’t let fear stop him and he didn’t fear failure !

He didn’t sit there wasting time and energy worrying about or convincing himself of failure. He simply dreamed, worked out the price that had to be paid ( in dollars and or effort ) and then went about paying the price if he still felt it was worth the cost.

Now as it would turn out his life wasn’t so charmed, and he certainly has had set backs but he never has failures. If he has a setback then it is nothing more or nothing less than a learning experience that he makes sure he never repeats. He dosn't dwell in the set back giving it more fuel or power then it deserves he just gets back into things and has another crack at his current objective or moves on to the next, once again depending on an assessment of the cost involved.

Unlike a large majority of the human race he doesn’t waste time and energy fantasizing about events that “ Might ” happen and making them real. He puts his energy into working out the most efficient way to do something or get something and then puts 100% of his energy into making it happen.

I personally have many changes happening in my life at the moment and to be honest most scare the living daylights out of me and the rest just confuse me to the point where I just shut down and stop thinking about it.

These days I have many health changes that I must make and many life choices that I want to make both for myself and as an example for my son. Especially on the health changes, I can no longer afford the wasted effort on Fear and Procrastination.

The place is here and the time is now !

I always knew this about fear but never really noticed how much I allow it to hold me back. I have bungee jumped twice from over 160 feet with the realization that the only thing that stops any of us achieving our full potential is the fear of the unknown and failure. I always figured if I could stand at the edge of a 160 foot drop with my toes over the edge and conquer my fear of heights ( I hate being on a ladder ) then I can truly achieve anything in life. Funny how we forget our own lessons at times.

My son Grub and I talk about F.E.A.R on many occasions and to encourage him on his journey I have just booked him in for a tamdem skydive to celebrate his 13th birthday at the end of May. Grub commented a few years ago as we watched a friend parachute onto the beach that he wanted to do a parachute jump. Well he turns 13 in about 6 weeks and will now get to jump on his birthday. I fully support him in this and can not think of any better way to come of age as a Teenager than to make your stand and to conquer F.E.A.R. sort of puts everything else he will face as a teenager into perspective doesn’t it.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.

Dohi