I was awoken this time by my sisters Blog “ Living Simple In Bauple ”, my sister has a story to tell like all of us, a story that has sat dormant within her for all of her life, quietly moulding and shaping her life and her life decisions and building in strength within until inevitably released. If you haven’t already, I encourage you to read Wendy’s blogs and story, all life’s stories have common threads and I’m sure you will not only enjoy her journey but also gain a reflection into your own life’s journey at some stage while reading.
My son is growing fast, both mentally and physically. He has just turned 13 and is already 6ft tall. I find myself looking at him at times with sympathy and personal memories of pain and frustration. I to was a tall solid 13 year old, the type that on the outside is a man but on the inside is still a boy, the type that is constantly finding confusion and frustration in everyday dealings with the world.
Because of my size I tried to act like a man and to fit in but as they say, you can’t put a wise head on young shoulders and more times than not I spoke and acted in ways that were inappropriate due to lack of experience. I still remember that sickly feeling of not feeling like you belong, either in your age group of peers or the older age group which you so agonisingly want to belong to. Of not even belonging in your own body.
As part of growing so fast, growing can not only be frustrating but painful and uncoordinated. Due to growing so much so fast my son has literally outgrown his body, his bones have grown so fast that his muscles / ligaments and tendons have not had sufficient time to grow and stretch naturally. At a basic level this makes his muscles at ¾ stretch even when in a relaxed posture. At a higher level it is effecting his posture and movement at a more fundamental level. Now none of this is life threatening and he will develop out of it all with time but the disassociation with his own life at the moment and his inability to feel comfortable socially or in his body will affect his soul and personality for ever.
I have just joined us both up to the local gym. Me, well I desperately need to loose a lot of weight and to take control of my life back. For too long I have been willing to just ride my life and see where it will take me. The problem with that is it took me to obesity and a heart attack at 39. As for my son, hopefully if we can get him comfortable in his own skin and feeling like he is in control of his body and life then he may have more strength to control his destiny then I did.
My son’s Rugby team had their final game of the season today, they had not won a game all season until today which they won 26 – 0. It was a great game and your could see that the lights turned on upstairs, they walked on the field not even contemplating a winless season and then naturally played to that mindset. While watching the game I was listening to the other games being played, the results over the loud speakers and to the family and friends cheering on all the games being played. It struck me with an unexpected surprise, It didn’t matter if a team was playing for 1st or to prevent being last, each team was playing in the moment, their own battle and demons and not coming last for the season was every bit as important to these young men as it was to the team playing for the season premiership.
Tonight we have the formal end of season dinner for the Rugby teams, I have no doubt that all the boys will be walking on air after their win today and that their tries and tackles will only grow in strength and speed over the off season ( like all good fishing and hunting stories ). But what it will do is allow them to grow in belief in themselves over the off season so that when they come back next year they will believe in themselves that bit more and believe in each other as a team even more.
After all, we all need the odd win to cling to and dream about.