Hump Day Laugh - A Mothers Day

This weeks " Hump Day Laugh " is dedicated to all the hard working parents out there who some how against all efforts, turned into their parents somewhere along the way !

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If your a parent -- you know what I meen !

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~ Laugh Till Ya Wet Ya Pants ~

Dohi, Keep smilin and have a great day !

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I Wonder

I’m feeling pretty nostalgic at the moment, my son “ Grub ” ( who is an only child ) is turning thirteen tomorrow and already stands at 6 foot and weighs in at just under 100kg. He is only about 1 inch short of reaching my height and his voice is already starting to drop to match the facial fuzz.

Yup there is no doubt about it and as much as I’d like to pretend that it will never happen, my boy is now very much a young man.

I’ve found myself looking through old photo albums, watching old video footage and generally reminiscing about my boy and wondering where the years have gone, wondering where my baby boy went.

It honestly only feels like yesterday that Rachael confirmed that she was pregnant and we started to plan for our little bundle of joy. I remember the setting up of the nursery the painting of his cot and the general getting prepared for his arrival.

The cot was a work of love, Rachael and I sanded the whole thing back and painted each piece of timber a different colour with the theme of Bananas in Pyjamas a kids TV show here in Australia.

I remember the day he was born just as much in wonder today as I did back then. I was in total awe of Rachael’s strength and ability to create and deliver such a wonder of life.

When Grub was born he instantly looked at the world with clear deep eyes and soaked in the wonder around him. He did nothing but smile, laugh, talk to invisible people above him and sleep. He slept 8hr plus form about 1 week and pretty much just seemed to cruise along.

Grub at 15min old

I know a lot of people probably say it but honestly, Grub has never been anything but a pleasure and honour to parent.

I also remember that life was simpler then, certainly it is easier to satisfy the needs of a infant than that of a young adult. While they are still never rejected we’ve suddenly reached a stage where a simple cuddle and reassurance of being loved doesn’t always fix the problem at hand.

Mummy and Daddy can’t always scare the bad monsters away and I guess when your as big as the person giving you the cuddle, their arms don’t seem quite so big and strong anymore.

I find myself more and more looking at society, noticing the changes which unfortunately seem to be more for the negative than positive and genuinely questioning whether I would like to be a young man in this world. I find myself wondering what wonders and challenges lay ahead for Grub and as a man how he will face and handle HIS new world & while I sincerely hope it is a very long way away ( for his sake ) I have oddly enough even been thinking about one day being a Grandparent.

I wonder how far he will push his dreams
I wonder if he will find the love of his life
I wonder if life will treat him fair and just
I wonder if he will live true to himself
I wonder ……….

It's a love without end Amen !

Hump Day Laugh - Things you should never say to your wife.

Like most people I've collected endless jokes, cartoons and

funny video clips via emails over the years.

So what I've decided to trial is a regular Wednesday " Hump Day " Laugh blog,

thats right each Wednesday I'll post another one of my Fav's to hopefully

share a laugh around the world.

Hope you enjoy and laugh even if for just a min !

Things You Should Never Say To Your Wife

My Country My Voice

I recently read an amazing blog about how much a lady loved this country of mine “ Australia ”, it was written with so much love and admiration that as I finished reading her blog I had a tear in the eye and as a very proud and patriotic Aussie I wanted the world to know and feel Australia as Kristen did.

Besides the passionate, fluent, captivating and poetic way this blog “On Longing and a Sense of Home ” was written, what made it so amazing was the fact that Kristen is a born and breed citizen of the United States Of America. That’s right, Australia isn’t even her birth country and yet there is more love and respect in her blog for Australia than you hear from most Australians here in Australia.

I would highly recommend you take the time to read Kristen’s blog ( linked above ) and also to take the time to read through her site “ Wanderlust ” as her writing skills and views are never anything but entertaining and enlightening.

With Kristen’s blog about her longing love for Australia, Kristen got me thinking about what it is that I love about Australia, what was it exactly that made me want to stand up in a crowd and yell to the world that “ I love my country ”. It also go me thinking about what dangers are currently facing my country and my fears for her long term.

Before I do that though I’d like to tell you about my Australia, from the view point of a country born and breed Queenslander. I was born in a large mining town called Mt Isa in central northern Queensland. Now Mt Isa is anything but a mountain, it is flat, dry, hot and red soil. While the city of Mt Isa is fully self sufficient it does revolve around the Mt Isa Mines. Life in Mt Isa is pretty simple as most mining towns are, work hard play hard. As for me, well there must be a lot to the old saying that “ You can take the boy out of the country but not the country out of the boy ” because we moved away from Mt Isa when I was 5 and I have live nearly all my life in Brisbane, the capital city of the state of Queensland. Even now at 42 years of age I am never more at home then when I am up in the gulf country or west of the Great Divide Mountain Range where at times you are lucky to find a living soul within 100km. There is something magical and demanding of the solitude and honesty of remote living.

Having said all of that I’ve decided to write a list of things that make me both want to jump up in a crowd and yell to the world that “ I love my country ” and at other times step up with blood boiling to defend Australia and our Australian way.

My Australia

I love my ancient sunburnt country with her rugged tropical mountain ranges of the north to her southern snow capped peaks of Victoria and Tasmania.

I wonder at the beauty of her coastlines as the sun rises over the Great Barrier Reef of Tropical North Queensland past the shear weather worn cliffs of the Victorian Great Ocean Road and across the Mighty Nullarbor Plains before setting like a glowing gem over the Magical Western Australian coast.

I love her freedom, her ethics of equality for all, I admire that she opens her arms to all who are in genuine need and I respect the way that she stands her ground proud and brave when the needs arise.

I respect the fact that our beautiful country allows us to believe in a God of our own choosing, voice our opinions freely and openly, protest march in the streets for our beliefs and rights and vote for who WE want to govern our country all without persecution or threat to life.

I marvel at her wealth, both in natural resources and in cultivated resources. I stand proud of her industrial achievements, her scientific discoveries and solid strong work ethic.

I smile at our Multi-Cultural society and defend the rights of all to their beliefs. I encourage them to share their culture with me and my country ( please do not hide it away ).

But please do not try to change this beautiful country to that from which you came, there must have been a reason that you left YOUR country of birth, isn’t that reason argument enough for us to stay the same.

I believe we are now independent without forgetting from where we came, respecting both our English and our Dutch ancestry. We stand proud of our short but rich history and acknowledge our mistakes of the past without fear of moving forward as a united country to stand strong on the international stage as a young teenager steps out to discover a clear and proud voice.

And with each new generation we grow stronger in respect for our First Ones as old stale ways turn to dust with age and blow away on the free breeze.

We stand equal with the worlds nations in an age of uncertainty and fear both ready to shoulder our share of the burden as well as to lead the way with hope.

In short, we are a country of Freedom, Equality & Justice, a country that is Generous and Open, and we are Proud of both who we are and this beautiful ancient land.

To borrow a line from a very famous song in Australia, " We are one, But we are many and from all the land on earth we come, we share a dreams but sing with one voice, I am - You are - We are Australians."

Foot & Mouth

Well here we are again people.

Foot in mouth again !

You know, I spend most of my life swinging from one position to the other !

Either I'm frustrated because I feel like I have no voice in this world which leaves me feeling cornered, caged, pointless as well as feeling like a coward for not having the courage to express myself.

or

If I finally do find the courage to express myself I always seem to offend someone which then sends me running for the shadows, tail between the legs and feeling guilty because I spoke up and offended someone. Once again I did it wrong !

I just don't get it most of the time sorry ! I just don't understand the rules and regulations to conversations and socialising.

I have come to the conclusion that I speak a different language than the rest of humanity.

All of this reminds me of a poem I came across many many years ago which I have always thought captured this perfectly, called ....

I know you

By Henry Rollins

If I were

If I were a month, I would be the coldest month in your calender

If I were a day of the week, I would be Friday and the freedom that it offers

If I were a time of day, I would be 4am when I talk most clearly to my Angels

If I were a planet, I would be Earth overflowing with hope

If I were an animal, I would be undiscovered and free

If I were a direction, I would be West

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be old well worn and loved well

If I were a liquid, I would be spring water, cool, refreshing and charged with life

If I were a gemstone, I would be mud, as even those considered ugly can shine

If I were a tree, I would be an ancient weeping willow swaying with the winds of time

If I were a tool, I would be a polititian

If I were a flower, I would be a native wattle feeding the birds as they sing

If I were a kind of weather, I would be a thunderstorm rolling over the Plains

If I were a musical instrument, I would be the Bagpipes stirring the blood of the brave

If I were a color, I would be vibrant Yellow, impossible to hide

If I were an emotion, I would be regret

If I were a fruit, I would be a bright yellow bananna

If I were a sound, I would be a saxaphone between the buildings tall

If I were an element, I would be the winds impossible to hold

If I were a car, I would be a classic cruising slow with pride

If I were a food, I would be a spicey hot Vinderloo

If I were a place, I would be distant and alone

If I were a material, I would be flannalette on a winter night

If I were a taste, I would be a french vanilla slice

If I were a scent, I would be the scent of you in my arms

If I were an object, I would be the rain itself

If I were a body part, I would be the eyes the gateway to the soul

If I were a facial expression, I would be deep in thought

If I were a pair of shoes, I would be the ones that God gave me


A meme that been going around. No idea where it started. I saw it on the blog Wanderlust and was inspired to reply. ( Kristen from Wanderlust also ran a great Blog about being yourself in Bloggers In The Buff so my photo at the beginning is my contribution to that. )

What about you? What would you be?

To Grub

Dear Grub

Only 14 more days untill you reach the big 13 and are officially a " Teenager ", You are a true gentleman and an inspiration, your Mum and Dad love you more than words can say !

Forever Young

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

Bob Dylan

Trust Me

Don’t Eat Red Meat ( It Causes Bowel Cancer ) ~ Use Plastic Bags and save a tree ~ Don’t Use Mobile Phones ( They are linked to a growing number of brain tumours ) ~ Make Sure you eat Red Meat at least once a day to ensure good brain development ~ Processed food kills the enzymes and therefore makes the food dead and carcinogenic ~ Smoking causes cancer ~ Treated water causes birth defects ~ Polluted air is killing the world ………………

It’s near impossible to know if you are doing the right thing half the time these days.

Every time you pick up the paper or turn on the TV you are bombarded with advice on what you should and shouldn’t consume or some new scientific report telling you that every day items in your life are now considered carcinogenic and should be avoided at all costs.

We are bombarded daily with advice on every subject from child care to consumables and constantly reminded that we are living our lives wrong and that we are not only putting ourselves at risk but we are also risking the health and well being of our loved ones. We are constantly and aggressively told that we need to change our ways immediately or face the consequences.

Now this may be great news if we are being educated with genuine verifiable facts and therefore being saved from our own ignorant selves but the problem with our community indoctrinated education system is this, all these “ Scientific Facts ” that we are being fed are little more that big business advertising to scare and manipulate the public into preferred purchasing habits.

Ever noticed how many of these so called scientific facts that we are being educated on, constantly change year after year and in the end are little more than fads of the day.

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It wasn’t that long ago that our grand parents were encouraged to smoke tobacco, in fact it was considered the height of sophistication and refinement even Hollywood ensured that all the leading men and woman were drawing back deep and confidently.

You only have to go back to the time of our parents to find a time when everyone was encouraged to drive big 8 cylinder cars, use asbestos building products, buy computers to make the world a paperless society ( and save trees ), Buy Mobile Phones, Use Solariums, Use Plastic bags and plastic bottles the list can go on and on.

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All of the above were backed by proven scientific facts and arguments at the time to ensure the public were educated on why they should change NOW and save the world and them selves before it was too late.

While I doubt anyone would argue the return of any of the above there are also numerous instances where products and life styles have constantly swayed from the affirmative to negative depending on the current advertising program being run by it's manufacturer ( Such as Tea & Coffee, Sugar & Sacrin consumption ). Backed by scientific evidence & depending on the year both or neither are the best thing since sliced bread to ensure a long and happy life.

The first thing that is sacrificed in any business transaction is the truth and unfortunately while anyone can make a dollar the truth is irrelevant.

It time people to stop reading the slogans people ! To stop believing all that you see and hear, it’s time to start thinking for ourselves and to trust the natural instincts within us.

Thank You Marla

I have been feeling very sorry for myself this week.

You see my life isn't exactly how I planned it to be !

So I have been just managing to keep the Black Dog at bay and have been snapping at all the wrong people all week, feeling sorry for myself and generally making a total ASS out of myself.

I feel ashamed at how I have carried on this week after reading the below two links by a blog that I follow called Butts and Ashes by Marla !

If you havn't already, please read the THREE links below ...

Thank you Marla for pulling my head out of my own ass !

I Am A Luck Man !

This Place Looks Like A Tornado Went Through It
&
The Morning After

&
Sometimes Stupid Has A Name …

Life Lesson Number 6. " You can't see the sunset or hear the birds singing with you head stuck up your ass "

Dohi to you all

A Moment Of Existance

The plan was to be as the trees, to just enjoy existing. The place was a small café restaurant called “ The Polish Place ” located on the top of Tamborine Mountain just west of the Gold Coast.

It was a perfect Autumn day and the cool breeze tickled across your body as the sun reached down between the clouds to remind you that summer was not quite ready to surrender it’s hold on the land.

The birdlife swooped and danced amongst the gum trees as little children play when the cares of the world didn’t exist. A lonely crow calls for acknowledgment from a distant resting place.

Far below the mountain, distant cattle bellow, their deep cries for attention hitch hiking a ride across the plans on the carefree breeze.

I drew in a deep breath and savoured the distinct Australian fragrance of eucalyptus, lantana and bottle brush trees. Each deep breath seemed to stretch the lungs and invigorate the body with saturated Australian bush mountain air.

Our platter of fine Polish small goods and cheese arrived, delivered with pride by the young smiling staff dressed in traditional national Polish attire.

Today was indeed a fine day, fine foods, fine company, fine location and fine beverages. Today was indeed a fine day to be alive.

The rainbow lorikeets eyed off our platter and any cream or sugar to be seen within fifty feet, ever creeping closer and closer in an attempt to steal any sweet morsal that was unattended.

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I eagerly survey the outdoor dinning area eager to spot the local goanna which frequents the Polish Place. Never a more dominant yet peaceful figure have I seen as this 6 ft native friend. Unfortunately I did not have the pleasure of introducing my friend today, oh well yet another good reason to return.

I look out across the plains to the distant mountains and am instantly reminded of both the vastness of this beautiful country and of her spirit and individuality. Ancient lands forged in isolation by volcanos and millions of years of living, humbling all that look upon her.

The Great Dividing Range stretches her back from distant horizon to distant horizon. Formed at the birth of our great nation she now stands tall as a symbol of the strong backs that gave Australia it’s modern birth.

Yet to look over the vast plans and mountains is to feel the spirit of the land that our first ones so intimately understood and acknowledged. They understood that no one owns her, no one can contain her spirit. But if you are respectful and treat her well she will wrap her arms around you and lift you to a place higher than any mountain and provide you with everything us mere mortals could ever need.

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Before I knew it I had been soaking up the energies of this place for 3 hours and it was time to vacate my throne so high. I had come enjoyed my existence, I both recharged and reflected. I listened, I felt and I tasted, allowing my body to exist.

As I slowly walked back to the car I took one last longing look and smiled as this place of magic is only about 30 minutes from my home and I will be back.