I Wonder

I’m feeling pretty nostalgic at the moment, my son “ Grub ” ( who is an only child ) is turning thirteen tomorrow and already stands at 6 foot and weighs in at just under 100kg. He is only about 1 inch short of reaching my height and his voice is already starting to drop to match the facial fuzz.

Yup there is no doubt about it and as much as I’d like to pretend that it will never happen, my boy is now very much a young man.

I’ve found myself looking through old photo albums, watching old video footage and generally reminiscing about my boy and wondering where the years have gone, wondering where my baby boy went.

It honestly only feels like yesterday that Rachael confirmed that she was pregnant and we started to plan for our little bundle of joy. I remember the setting up of the nursery the painting of his cot and the general getting prepared for his arrival.

The cot was a work of love, Rachael and I sanded the whole thing back and painted each piece of timber a different colour with the theme of Bananas in Pyjamas a kids TV show here in Australia.

I remember the day he was born just as much in wonder today as I did back then. I was in total awe of Rachael’s strength and ability to create and deliver such a wonder of life.

When Grub was born he instantly looked at the world with clear deep eyes and soaked in the wonder around him. He did nothing but smile, laugh, talk to invisible people above him and sleep. He slept 8hr plus form about 1 week and pretty much just seemed to cruise along.

Grub at 15min old

I know a lot of people probably say it but honestly, Grub has never been anything but a pleasure and honour to parent.

I also remember that life was simpler then, certainly it is easier to satisfy the needs of a infant than that of a young adult. While they are still never rejected we’ve suddenly reached a stage where a simple cuddle and reassurance of being loved doesn’t always fix the problem at hand.

Mummy and Daddy can’t always scare the bad monsters away and I guess when your as big as the person giving you the cuddle, their arms don’t seem quite so big and strong anymore.

I find myself more and more looking at society, noticing the changes which unfortunately seem to be more for the negative than positive and genuinely questioning whether I would like to be a young man in this world. I find myself wondering what wonders and challenges lay ahead for Grub and as a man how he will face and handle HIS new world & while I sincerely hope it is a very long way away ( for his sake ) I have oddly enough even been thinking about one day being a Grandparent.

I wonder how far he will push his dreams
I wonder if he will find the love of his life
I wonder if life will treat him fair and just
I wonder if he will live true to himself
I wonder ……….

It's a love without end Amen !